Mew Mew Interview
by Kittens Jaguara
Summary: Basically an interview with Ryou, Pudding, Tart, Ichigo, and Kish hosted by the authoress. Really funny.
1. Intro and Ryou

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Tokyo Mew Mew, but if I did, Masaya would go to Pluto to never return.

Me: "I can't think of anything to say."

Bostet (my cat): "Cake!"

Me: "This story involves no cake." (pauses to think) "But now it does!"

Bostet: "Hooray!"

Me: "Here's the story!"

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(**A/N** The introduction is really boring; I had to put it so it makes sense.)

Kittens Jaguara starts talking in a serious tone. "Welcome to our Mew Mew Interview. Today we have Kish, Ichigo, Ryou, Tart, and Pudding to interview."

The Mews, aliens, and Ryou all walk in.

"Let me explain how this works, because it's no ordinary interview. Each person will think of a question to ask everyone but themselves, which you will write one a piece of paper for each person. Write the person's name at the top, the question, and your name at the bottom."

Everyone but Tart nods.

Tart is looking at the metal bracelet on each person's arm. "What the heck are these for?" He points to the bracelet on his arm.

"I was about to explain that, they are lie detectors. If you lie, they will shock you."

"But that will hurt Tar-Tar!" Pudding sniffles.

"That's the point. Now everyone start writing your questions." Kittens Jaguara hands out paper.

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Minutes Later…

"Is everyone done?" Kittens Jaguara asks.

"Yes!" Everyone screams.

"What's with the screaming?" Kittens angrily asks.

Ryou shrugs his shoulders. Kish looks at the ceiling. Tart looks at his feet. The girls don't do anything.

"Ok then, first up is Ryou, so if your not Ryou, leave!" Kittens is still anger.

The Mews, Tart, and Kish walk out of the room.

Ryou sits down in a chair. "How long is this going to take?"

"If you whine, forever. Let's just start this interview." Kittens half smiles.

"What's the first question?" Ryou asks impatiently.

Kittens reads one of the papers. "Are you ever going to give Ichigo a raise, if no, why?"

Ryou is partially laughing, and partially smirking. "That's a good one, Ichigo's not getting a raise. She gets paid $10 an hour! Does that answer your question?"

Kittens looks at the paper again. The question was from Ichigo. _Clever, using her name in the question, Ryou has no idea!_ "Why won't you give her a raise?"

Ryou starts mumbling. All that can be heard is, "I ink it ute en sh aks e."

"What? Speak up!" Kittens really wants to know.

Ryou can actually be heard this time. "I think its cute when she asks me. Does that answer your question?"

"Yes, next question. Do you have a crush on Ichigo?" This question was from Kish, it was obvious that Kish would kill Ryou if he did.

"Heck no!" Ryou gets shocked by the lie detector. "Stupid lie detector!"

"That means you do like Ichigo!" Kittens Jaguara is laughing.

Ryou is making Ichigo's hair jealous by turning a bright red from embarrassment and anger toward the lie detector.

Kittens stops laughing. "Two more questions." She picks another question. "Do you have a crush on Lettuce nonada?" The question, asked obviously by Pudding.

"No, I like Ichigo, remember?" Ryou says sarcastically.

"I know, but the asker of the question wants to know too."

"No I don't have a crush on Lettuce. Can we hurry up and finish?" Ryou obviously really hated it her, but he has to deal with it!

"I'm the one asking the questions here!" Kittens points that out. "Last question before you can go."

"Well what is it?"

"Do you like cake?" Kittens smiled, the question was asked by Tart.

"What kind of stupid question is that?" Ryou is really, really ticked off. "Yes I like cake."

Kittens Jaguara presses a button, a giant cake lands on Ryou's head. She starts laughing.

Ryou is spitting out cake while he is yelling at Kittens. "What phpt kind of phpt interview is phpt this?" Ryou storms out with cake still on his head.

"Next chapter we will interview Pudding and Tart." Kittens pulls a plate out of nowhere. "Until then," She presses the button that made cake fall from the sky. "I'll eat cake!" Cake lands on the plate.

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Me: "What did you think?"

Bostet: "I want cake!"

Me: (presses cake button)

(cake falls from sky)

Both: "Yeah! Cake!"


	2. Pudding and Tart

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Tokyo Mew Mew, but Masaya would be better off on Pluto.

Me: "Now that we've eaten cake, what do we do?"

Bostet: "Make something explode!"

Me: "I have an idea…" (starts writing)

Bostet: "While Kittens Jaguara is doing whatever it is that she is doing, here's the next chapter."

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Kittens Jaguara is finishing eating her cake. "Now it is time for Pudding's interview!"

Pudding cartwheels into the room. "Hello Kittens Jaguara nonada."

"Hi Pudding."

Pudding sits down in a brown chair, there are too many chairs in here.

"Are you ready to be interviewed?" Kittens bad mood has vanished after talking to Pudding for about fifteen seconds.

"Yes!" Pudding happily throws her arms up into the air.

Kittens looks at the first question, from Tart. "Why do you like Tart?"

Pudding smiles really big. "There are so many reasons! I don't know where to start. I really like his sense of humor."

"Explosions?" Kittens asks with a slight smile.

"Of course! Pudding and Tar-Tar love explosions!"

"Watch this." Kittens grabs a lightbulb, where she got it, no one knows, but she throws it at the wall. It explodes.

"Cool! Are there any more?" Pudding is hyper because she ate the cake off of Ryou's head.

"How about one explodes after each interview question ok?"

"Yes! What is the next question nonada?"

Kittens looks at the paper, its from Ryou. "This one is the same as the first. I'll try another one." Kittens checks the other two papers, all four of the papers have the same question. "All of them are the same, so let's explode stuff instead."

Pudding gets out of her chair and throws it at the wall. The chair breaks.

Kittens starts throwing chairs too.

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After the 'chair fight' is over, there are no chairs left in the room. Both Pudding and Kittens are rolling on the floor, laughing their heads off.

Kittens is the first to stop laughing. "Well your interview time is over, so you have to go."

"Pudding will leave now." Pudding walks out of the room.

Kittens tries to be serious. "Next we will interview Tart coughs the annoyance."

Tart floats into the room. "I heard you call my an annoyance!"

"Well its true! I'm gonna start the interview whether you what to or not!" Kittens yells at Tart.

"Well I wanna get out of here! So start the interview already!" Tart yells back.

Kittens read the first paper, from Pudding. "Does Tart like Pudding?"

"Yes, who doesn't like pudding? Pudding is so sweet, colorful, and good." Tart is sort of daydreaming.

"I meant the person."

"Yeah I-No! I don't like Pudding! Pudding is crazy!" Tart gets shocked.

"Liar! You do like Pudding!" Kittens starts laughing evily. "Maybe I can use this to my advantage."

"Please don't!" Tart begs.

"Ok, fine. Next question," Kittens reads the second paper. "Are Pie and Kish your brothers?" The question is from Ryou.

"I don't know." Tart is starting to blush.

"How can you not know if someone is your brother or not?" Kittens is yelling at Tart.

"You didn't let me explain! Before we started trying to destroy Earth, our memories were erased. Pie and Kish don't know either."

The room gets silent for a minute. Surprisingly Tart did not get shocked.

"Ok." Kittens Jaguara checked the other papers. "Both of them have the same question. Why do you wear pigtails?"

"On my planet, boys have to have something to keep their hair out of their eyes."

"Why do you wear pigtails?" Kittens repeats the question.

"You have to have a certain hair style depending on you age."

Kittens starts giggling. "You look like a girl! You have to go because your interview is over." Kittens glares at Tart. "Unless you want to come back here with Pudding."

"Don't tell her! I'm leaving!" Tart teleports out of the room.

"The only two left are my favorite couple, Kish and Ichigo. Stay tuned, or keep reading the story, or whatever you consider it." Kittens smiles. "Until then, I'll play video games." She picks up a video game controller.

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Me: "Told you I'd make something explode."

Bostet: "All you did was break a lightbulb and some chairs. Technically that isn't exploding anything."

Me: "Close enough."

Bostet: "I guess your right."

Me: "Please review!"


	3. Kish and Ichigo

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Tokyo Mew Mew, but Masaya is still way better off on Pluto.

Me: "Nothing to say, here's the last chapter, apart from the Masaya bashing bonus chapter, which I'm still writing."

Bostet: "I have something to say."

Me: "What?"

Bostet: "Cake!"

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"Well now we have only Ichigo and Kish left to interview, so I decided to interview them together." Kittens Jaguara announces.

Kish happily walks into the room.

Ichigo walks in and is mumbling. "Why is everyone so mean, I don't deserve to be stuck here with Kish. Someone save me."

"What's so bad about it kitty?" Kish asked sarcastically, and then he smirked.

Ichigo wanted to pound Kish's face in. _What is his problem? Seriously!_

"Hi Kish and Ichigo! Are you ready to start the interview?" Kittens asked.

"Yes! I wanna go home!" Ichigo whines.

"I'm ready." Kish seems so happy.

Ichigo gives Kish the 'Zackuro Death Glare.'

"Ok." Kittens looks at on of the questions. "This one is for Kish. How would you react if Ichigo liked you?" The question, from Ichigo.

"I would be so happy!" Kish says in an excited voice.

Kittens reads another question. "Ichigo, do you like Kish?" Obviously, from Kish.

It takes a moment for Ichigo to answer. _I knew this was coming!_ "Um…No." Ichigo gets shocked by the lie detector.

"It's not nice to lie neko." Kish has a really big smile on his face.

"Oh shut up Kish!" Ichigo yells at the green haired alien.

"Well, because Ichigo got shocked, she is lying, so she does like Kish." Kittens points out the obvious.

"Can we go to the next question?" Ichigo whines.

"Ok fine." Kittens reads a question to Kish, from Ryou. "How would you react if Ryou liked Ichigo?"

Kish gets an evil look in his eyes. "I basically would pound his face in, hit him with a shovel, and…"

"That's all we need to know!" Kittens interrupts Kish. "The next question is for Ichigo. Do you like Ryou?" Guess who it's from, Ryou.

"Heck no! That moron won't give me a raise!" Ichigo answers, rather loudly.

Kittens reads a question. "Kish, why do you like the ol…err Ichigo?" The question was from the midget, Tart.

"That's a hard one; it would take me forever to list everything! I like everything about, except the fact that she likes the ugly nerd." Kish calmly answers.

Ichigo is blushing bright red. She slowly starts to talk. "Actually, Masaya and I broke up."

Kish cheerfully floats around the room. He starts talking in a happy, yet mocking tone. "No more nerd boy, no more nerd boy, no more…"

"That's enough Kish!" Kittens yells.

"Can we hurry up so I can leave?" Ichigo complains.

"You have two questions left for Ichigo." Kittens looks at another question. "If you could throw rotten eggs at Tart, would you?" It was from Tart.

"Yes! That midget calls me old! I'm like what, only two or three years older than him!" Ichigo replies, slightly loudly, and with some anger.

"Ok, Kish, last question." Kittens reads a paper from Pudding. "Can you do a back flip? If yes, prove it."

"Um…I think I can." Kish cautiously replies.

"Well prove it." Ichigo teases him.

"Fine I will." There's confidence in his voice, but a little bit of nervousness in his eyes.

"We're waiting." Ichigo impatiently reminds Kish.

Kish gets in position, and does a cartwheel.

"That's not a back flip." Kittens nags.

He tries again. This time he does a somersault.

"Wrong again." This time Ichigo tells him.

"I don't know what a back flip is." Kish finally admits.

"Well we didn't need 'Mr. Points Out the Obvious a Lot' to figure that out." Kittens sarcastically remarks.

"Can we go to the last question? I wanna go home!" Ichigo whines.

"Ichigo, here's you last question." Kittens reads Pudding's question to Ichigo. "What did Ichigo and Masaya nonada break up?"

"It's a long story. It all started one day at the park…"

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(Flashback from Ichigo's POV)

I was standing near the big fountain waiting for Masaya, wearing a ring that he gave me. "Where is he? He's never late." I asked myself.

I decided to walk around the area to pass time while I waited. As I walked, I saw a sight that shocked me:

Masaya was sitting on a park bench, kissing a long-haired blonde girl. I don't know who she was.

When, they finally stopped, Masaya said goodbye to her as he walked away. He had his head turned to look at her, as he walked. Masaya was not paying attention, and walked right into me.

"Oh hi Masaya, who's your friend?" I greeted him.

"Oh Ichigo, this um…" Masaya looks at the blonde girl.

"Peach." The blonde finishes his sentence.

"Hi Peach, I'm Ichigo I use to be Masaya's girlfriend until about a minute ago." I glared at my former boyfriend.

"What a coincidence, I use to be his girlfriend too." Peach also glares at Masaya.

I took off my ring, and threw it at him. "We are through!"

Peach rips off the necklace she is wearing by breaking the chain, and threw at Masaya. "Have any other girlfriends you didn't tell me about!" She yells at him, then she stormed off.

I start running to get away from him, and his big lying butt.

(End Flashback)

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"That is a long story." Kish comments.

"And, it happened two days ago!" Ichigo adds.

"Well, Ichigo, now you can leave." Kittens tells the Mew Mew.

"Actually, I might hang around for a while. You know, to see Kish." Ichigo admits.

"I'm sorry to say, but your time is up, you have to leave." Kittens looks at Kish. "Both of you have to leave."

"Well, then I guess we'll go." Ichigo grabs Kish's wrist. "Come on Kish." She drags Kish out of the room.

A little tortoiseshell cat walks into the room carrying an envelope in it's mouth.

Kittens takes the envelope from the cat.

The cat walks out of the room.

Kittens opens the envelope, and silently reads it. "We are going to have a surprise guest, Masaya!"

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Bostet: "What happens next?"

Me: "I can't tell you! Didn't you even listen to the begining?"

Bostet: "No, so, I'll have to wait like everyone else."

Me: "Yep!"


	4. Masaya Bashing!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Tokyo Mew Mew, or "Mr. Points Out the Obvious A Lot" (previous chapter).

Bostet: "Who came up with 'Mr. Points Out the Obvious A Lot' anyway?"

Me: "Someone at my school came up with it as a nickname for someone else at my school."

Bostet: "Who is the person with the nickname?"

Me: "I can't tell you!"

Cassipia: (yelling from widow) "It's Toast!"

Me: "I'm going to get you Cassipia!"

**Warning:** This chapter is _**extremely**_ **Masaya Bashing**! You have been warned…

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"Now for the moment we've all been waiting for, so we can torture him, the arrival of our surprise guest, Masaya!" Kittens has an evil look in her eyes.

Masaya walks into the room.

"Because you are a surprise guest, I have to come up with questions off of the top of my head. First question, how many girlfriends did you have three days ago?"

"I'm completely loyal to Ichigo, she's my only girlfriend." Masaya cautiously answers. He gets shocked.

"What's the real number?" Kittens asks impatiently.

"Two!" Masaya yells.

"Ichigo and Peach, correct?" Kittens asks.

"Yes." Masaya sighs. "Please don't bring them in here! They'll kill me!"

"Let's see, torture Masaya or…" Kittens dramatically pauses. "…there's really no other good option, so let's bring in Peach and Ichigo!"

Applause can be heard from somewhere as Peach and Ichigo walk in.

"Peach, if you could do one thing to torture, or rather get revenge on your former boyfriend, what would it be?" Kittens asks.

"I'd make him wear a bright yellow dress with pink flowers on it, and make him walk through Tokyo on a leash!" Peach replies.

"Not as violent as I expected, but still vengeful and funny." Kittens comments. "Ichigo, what do you want to do to Masaya?"

"Same as Peach's answer, plus he's noticeably wearing make-up." Ichigo gives Masaya a death glare.

The same cat that brought the letter is carrying a large shopping bag with the help of another cat. The two cats drop the bag at Kittens feet, and run off.

Kittens picks up the bag and looks inside of it. "Look what we have here." Kittens smiles evilly. "A bright yellow dress with pink flowers, a leash, and make-up. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Oh yes!" Peach also smiles evilly.

All three girls have Masaya cornered.

"What are you going to do to me?" Masaya stutters.

"Something you deserve." Ichigo answers.

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Minutes Later…

Masaya is wearing a bright yellow dress with pink flowers overtop of his clothes. His face is covered in make-up, including lipstick streaks all over his face, and eye shadow covering most of his forehead. He is also attached to a leash, and walking on all fours.

Peach is walking him on the leash along a sidewalk. "This was so worth it!"

"Let me go, let me go, let me go!" Masaya begs like a hyper dog, as he pulls hard on the leash.

"I can't hold on much longer!" Peach yells.

Right after Peach yells, Masaya breaks free, runs like a dog across the street. He almost makes it, but is hit by a car and dies (finally!).

The lady that was driving the car stops and gets out, so she can look at the nerd she just ran over. She looks up at Peach, Ichigo, and Kittens.

"He's better off dead anyway!" Kittens tells the lady.

"He had rabies." Ichigo adds.

The lady looks at the three girls for a minute, the gets back into her car and drives off.

"Who votes we have a party to celebrate the end of a nerd?" Peach asks, then raises her hand.

Both of the other girls have their hands raised, but Kittens had something to say. "This is the end of the Mew Mew Interview."

"Goodbye." The girls speak in unison.

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Me: "So ends the interview."

Bostet: "Is their anything to say here?"

Me: "Nope."

Bostet: "Did you get Cassipia back yet?"

Me: "Not yet."


End file.
